SURPRISE!

Did someone just holler a big welcome back? 

I won't pretend I did not just have the best travel time of my life.  Sal and I flew the coop and said sayonara to the little boys (not actual little boys... that's what we call the cottages) as we made our way to San Juan, Puerto Rico.  The big draw was the Margaritaville, but things started off sour when we found out the damn thing was inside of the airport.  I guess I tried to put up my feet and let Jimmy Biffit's guitar swoon me away like a baby in (airport) paradise, but (you guessed it) Sal would not quit talking about hotel reservations this, I'm hungry that, where did you put the luggage this... I mean COME ON.  When an adult male is clearly lax'in, you do NOT squeak in their damn ear! I was pretty fucking ticked. 

Sal snapped this shot of me at the airport playing a nice fun game.  Next to me is my friend-to-be Ben X (down low, bro! -inside joke)  

We ordered some hot wings to cool our jets (with spicy buffalo) and once the margaritas starting flowin we started to really appreciate what mattered in the world.  We've been all over the US&A, we have the best furry kids (pets) in the world (especially because Gushers DIED finally), seen world class theatre like Stomp and Shrek, and have together shared so many amazing stories along the way.  Even though Sal is and will always be my just-as-friends wife (and also even though she can be a yappy buffoon whenever we watch Hulu) I am proud to say I love her.  

So there we were, two American love birds who flew the coop and found paradise in an airport.

Happy Holidays from the Doody family! 

Keep it real,

Bill Doody

Un Poco Updato

Hola, me feely the Latin vibes of my late night snacktime with Taquitos. My cat Pool is sittin on the couch next to me as I live the vida buena (Don't test me Pool- If you try and nibble on my treaties I will pull the damn plug on comfort). Taquitos is pretty sick name for pet... hey Santa, need a gift idea? (don't ask, I do NOT actually believe). I am giving Taquitos a 9/10 on the tasty scale- 1 short of un perfecto score because it's difficult to eat 2 at once :/

I know you are wondering how my Halloweeny was. If you read my entries at all, you will already know that Sal and I were both it Shrek this year. Word of advice: NEVER BE THE SAME COSTUME AS YOUR (just as friends) WIFE. To cut the shit, Halloweeny was a disaster. Sal invited bitch Tammy and her boyfriend Todd over to help with the trick or treaters but decided not to tell me until last minute (don't fling shit on my on Halloween). If you remember anything, Tammy spilled Yoohoo on my carpy on the newish year so there was instant grudge to begin with. Then bitch tells Sal that she did a good job on her Shrek costume (yeah right) and ignores my clearly superior Shrek. Besides, it wasn't MY fault Sal used up all the friggin green makeup and I had to use green marker (do not worry, my magnificent baldcap and Ogre-ears made this a minor shortcoming). Sal didn't even change her hair or clothes to character (wimp). Long story short, after ignoring me just cause I was a little proud of my costume, Tammy started giving away candy from my private reserve to the kiddies. IF YOU DO THIS, THEN HALLOWEEN IS OVER!!

Get an education and do some thinking next time.

Anyhoo- it's time for some cool fun:

Happy Thanksgiving from the Doody family!,

Bill, Sal, Pool, Ball, Hurt, ...and Gushers

(This greeting is NOT meant for the eyes of Beth and Frank Dempenchest (FUCK YOU!) as you will be dumping on my fiesta de thanks this year and should go to hell)

Keep it real,

Bill Doody

DON'T TELL IT

OK I KNOW IT'S BEEN A REALLY LONG DAMN TIME. Don't tell it, the last months have been fucking technologinightmares.

Explanation: Some DAMN SHITHEAD found out how to log into my blog and changed my passcode!!! Because of this bullshit i have had no internet journal and i couldn't log into my personal homepage to write new posties. Needy not to say I have a big pile of catching up to make...

So I guess I gotta tell you all about my summertime even though it's totally way past lol. Three words... twice: Way too hot. I almost died. Okay actually okay you caught me I didn't actually almost die i was just saying that lol... But it was really way too hot. Above is a pretty kool pic from a minitrip Sal and I took to South of the Border in South Carolina. I'll just say this - COOL (but spicy hot) FOOD. We got some souvenirs and got a little loony :-p Special thanks to Mike for snappin this shot - "Viva la Mike!" (inside joke).

Second, to wrap up some loose ends:

Shrek the Musical: 8.5/10

Not quite a "STOMP!" in Le world de Entertainment, but Sal and I loved it big time. I just gotta say though that CHILDREN BE WARNED it IS EXTREMELY SAD. Ta sum it up - the singing is the coolest and the Donkey had me damn screamin laughter the whole time. Also, let it be known that Sal and I will both be being the Shrek this Halloween.

This is us at Halloweeny (lol) two years ago. (Don't ask, I do not have ANY pictures of last years Halloweeny when i was a damn EZ Pass). As you may tell, I was an injured jock which was a big hit with the kiddies. I still don't understand what Sal was... what a stupid shit costume she had. Talk about public embarrassment okay.

Anyhoo, Sal and I and our furry kids (our pets- we do NOT have children) are doing well although I am worried about thanksgiving with Sal's sister and her family. We have a very tense relationship if you remember anything. I have crafted some witty comebacks to Beth and Franks (FUCK YOU!) snide remarks they might make at thanksgivingville. Here are a few i wrote last night for my special turkeyday reserve:

(Sal this is not for your eyes)

"this pumpkin pie belongs in the toilet!"

"i bet your kids made this turkey" (personal fave)

"are you TRYiNG to make me vomit with this barf gravy?"

Keep it real (and have a sick Halloweeny readers!),

Bill Doody

Field of Dreamies

Okay kids it's time to cut the shitty and give it a listen about vactiontown.  Field of Dreamies was off the hizzy, but someone is like the worst thrower ever and made VERY annoying  jokies to me when I had sensitive issues with pottytown.  I'll let you know that I DID NOT enjoy the Rockies as my tummy damn pained the shit out of me and Sal kept talking while I was trying to relax.  I did buy a hella sick cap tho (Go Rockies! score a homer!) - you can see see me wearin it in the pic below.

So here's us in Field of Dreams just kickin it back and soakin up the rays (Sal would just NOT stop touching).

Here's me being A-rod in this sick action shot (I've been trying to master my personal technique of catching the baseyball with two hands, its pretty kewl).  The only problem is Sal is such a bad thrower and this throw went like 20 feet past me and yours truly had to fucking retrieve. >:(

Anyhoo, gotta wish a happy birthday to my friend- hang loose! don't let the fred-bugs bite lol! (inside joke)

Sal and I got tickets to go see Shrek the Musical in the Big Apple this weekend so I'll let you all know what i think.

Keep it real,

Bill Doody

Jammin with Jimmy (Biffit)

Okay dudes first off I want to say OPEN UP THE DOOR ITS JIMMY BIFFITS NEW HIT SINGLE SUMMERZCOOL! Jimmy Biffit is taking us all back to summerzcool with this sick new jam, so pack your bags, relax, and tell everyone about the song of the year "Summerzcool". (get it? like summer school but cool lol)

Sal told me the guitar-player in the video looks like me so I've just been telling people it is.  Hey look it's me playin guitar lol

I have taken the liberty of writing out the killer lyrics for you all because it's not fucking nowhere in internetville.

Summerzcool by Jimmy Biffit

You mashed up you read the paper

you accidentially watched the news

you inadvertantly find yourself 

in the vicinity of the blues

bust your ass! to get a good life

you make a habit out of overtime

when the big report-card comes

your politics are way out of line

you need to go to summerzcool

into the beach or at least in a pool

time to go to summerzcool

remember it is (sorry dudes i don't know what Jimmy says here)

time out! for bad behavior

time off you've been under the gun

high time somebody somebody told you 

time to let those puppies run!

wussup with this recession?

how we refuse to participate

the answer to your burning questions are dancing on your tailgate

(chorus)

heres the subjects:

BEER 101

SEX 102

tune it in tune it out, thats what i'm talking about

It's time to go to summerzcool

(chorus)

I'm (obviously) giving this gem a 10/10.  Jimmy really wrote a song for the people with his political and economic undertones in this one (like how he mentioned the recession and stuff), but all packed into a fun vacation anthemtown thats great for the whole family or just men.  As a self described travelman, lol, Jimmy really speaks to my heart (and his guitarlicks are sicknasty!).  I'm still missin ya Jimmy from Margaritaville, but don't worry I'll be back soon enough with the Salmeister.

I got back from the Rockies and Field of dreams last week which i will describe in my next postie.

Keep it real,

Bill Doody

Aloha Rocky Mountains!

Hey dudes, I'm back to vacationville with the Salmeister, this time in the one n' only Colorady (US&A).  I'll just let you know my chill level is at medium right now when it should be at like 11- I'm not gonna go into details because it's personal and involves pottytown. 

Anyhoo, whip out ye' old guitarorado and play me some Rockies! lols.

Sals sitting next to me right now and says aloha to all you readers.  (Sal wrote some bullshit garbage here but I gave it a one way ticket to delete-town cause she knows that my PC is off limits)

Keep it real,

Bill Doody

Lets Talk About Pets

Hey dawgs I thought I'd tell you about some pets (mine).  Above you will find a sweet pic of yours truly and my doggy Hurt chillin in the den.  Good boy Hurt! Hurt loves to take walks, play with chewie toys, and rip up the fuckin couch (BAD DOG).  Overall, Hurt is a kewl doggy (9/10) and the high-king of Doody Pet-town.  

Here is Ball the Cat in a rare appearance of friendly-time.  Ball is our oldest cat at 11 besides Yogurt (deceased).  Usually Ball hides all damn over and then meows the fuck out like really randomly.  Since Ball sounds pretty damn close to my given name (Bill), I make Sal call him Bool to avoid any bullshit-time confusement.  Sometimes bitch forgets so someone gets the silent treaty.

Now here is the fucking demon piss-shit turd we call Gushers.  The damn turtey was a gift from Sal, and as I've said before he always shits on my handy when I try and enjoy playtown.  Needless to say, what fuckin goes around comes around! (someday he's gonna get a surprise visit from my asshole!!!) -sorry kiddies for vulgarville, he just really knows how to push my butties. 

Last but now least we have our newest addition: Pool.  Pool Doody is pictured below with Sal and is a cat.  Pool is shy, but a sweet kitty and loves to nibble on our treaties lol!

I love my pets.  (not you Gushers)

I leave for traveltime next week so I'm hella psyched- get the Jimmy Biffet out it's time to say buon giorno to the rockies!

Keep it real,

Bill Doody