Talk About Comfort

Hey dudes

I  was just chillen with my homedog Ben and he bought a hella sick camey phone.

He took this pic of me with my fuckin Snuggie while we watched Starsky and Hutch (disappointment).  All I'm gonna fuckin say is ultimate comfort.

And then on the other motherfucking side of things Sal bought me a fuckin demon shit pissbag.  I named the turtey Gushers, Gushers Doody, and he is an unfortunate addition.  Whenever I tried to feed Gushers he fuckin defecates on my hand (FUCK IT).    Let's just say turteys arnt always fun and games... okay.  

Keep it real, 

Bill Doody

Exerciseville

Hey readers, just thought I would update you on my fucking physical fitness (the fizz).  As you know I got a stairmastie for Christmas which officially completes Exercizeville.  When I work out I have my own personal motto of the Three S's: Simplicity, Sweat, and Soda (none).  I tried out a damn big exercise majjiger last year that pissed the shit out of me- here's a pic:

I know you are wondering about the kitty pictured on my legs:

name: Yogurt

color: grey and black

status: deceased

Anyways, to make a long story short, I'm no Tony Little and when i was working out one day on that retard contraption I had a little too much fucking soda and i barfed on my lap.  That machine sucks.

Now HERE is what I call a piece of equipment :

Lets just say if i feel the burn any more they'll have to call the fire department lol... okay

Keep it real, 

Bill Doody

BANISHED?!

Someone decided to shit on my day and i damn know it wasnt fuckin me! 

Okay so as you know yesterday i went to Albany with Sal to visit some fuckin freaks who call themselves relatives.  I was on my best social behavior but apparently those twats of child-dwarves don't understand humor.  

I got back from my annoying morning walk with my dog Hurt to the phone ringing its damn array of bell.  I pick up the phone and who is it? Oh, its Beth Dempenchest being rude as usuey.  Dumbest bitch blabs about nothing (boring things like how her kids couldnt damn sleepy) and then tells me that I have been banished from the Dempenchest clan for my behavior with the kiddies last night.  I flipped the fuck out and lets just say dialtone central had a sale... lol. 

Sorry for all the profane wordys everyone I'm just pissed like crazy.

On a higher note my stairmastie ROX! and i just got a DVD of Batman Beyond (awesome).

Keep it real (FUCK YOU BETH, PAUL, NATE, BECCA, JIM and FRANK!!!),

Bill Doody

Medium Travel (Albany)

Sal dragged me along to familyville NY in a place called Albany, AKA capitol of NY.  Albany was okay until we got there lol... okay.   So the premise of this journey, if you will, is that Sal needed to damn see her fam fam around the Holidays and given my resoluty for travel i decided to fucking tag along, per se.  We parked the car and took a nice photy at a scenic scene overlooking some fucking trees or some bologna like that.

I think the visit-time with the Dempenchests was a success.  After dinner i played along in a game of hidey seek with the kiddies.  The fucking gnomes couldnt even take a joke! when i was supposed to be seeking i decided to hide instead as a funny joke.  After about half an hour they went looking for me (i was hiding in the living room curtains).  When i heard Paul (7) Nate (6) Becca (9 i think) and the other one walk in the room i emerged, if you will, by screaming the fuck out.  They started crying and ruined the damn game.  

We decided to leave around 9 pm and to sum it up i'd rate Albanish 6/10 (but minus 1 because Sal made us stop at fucking pottery barn aka "the potty" as I like to call it lol)

Keep it real, 

Bill Doody

Crappy New Year!

Okay, so its damn 2009 in the Doody household and I am pissed as shit.  Sal of course had her fuckin friends over last night who made a big stupid scene and hoohaw about the doubly oh nine.  They brought the noisey makers which seriously offended my ears and my dog Hurts ears so much that i had to say E-NIF SHUT IT UP! (enough).  A great many of them were startled as shit, but you know that never ever excuses fucking spillage.  Stupid bitch Tammy spilled Yoohoo on my carpy and lets just say some mistakes go past the limit.

but i had a very nice time with my  dog thank you very much and i am happy to share my New Years Resolutions with you people.

-Travel

-Travel

-And what was that? oh yeah Travel

-Work out (exercise)

If you hurry you can catch out my favorite movie RV with the one and only Robin Willims on TBS right now.  To sum it up id give it a 9/10 not to mention it has references to Soda because the funny man is in the pop business just like my dad Maize Cortez Doody. I'll tell you more about that later though.  For now lets all reminisce (big word, i damn know) about the part of the filmfilm when the RV is balancing on the mountain! L-O-L! when the Rob-man climbs out of the RV and yells on the damn windshield wipers i almost sprayed fuckin shit from laughter.  Talk about fuckin close calls...okay.

Anyways I'll keep you loyal fans up to date about my resolutys.

Crappy new year, i got a stain, but happy new year RV is on TBS.

Keep it real,

Bill Doody