DON'T TELL IT

OK I KNOW IT'S BEEN A REALLY LONG DAMN TIME. Don't tell it, the last months have been fucking technologinightmares.

Explanation: Some DAMN SHITHEAD found out how to log into my blog and changed my passcode!!! Because of this bullshit i have had no internet journal and i couldn't log into my personal homepage to write new posties. Needy not to say I have a big pile of catching up to make...

So I guess I gotta tell you all about my summertime even though it's totally way past lol. Three words... twice: Way too hot. I almost died. Okay actually okay you caught me I didn't actually almost die i was just saying that lol... But it was really way too hot. Above is a pretty kool pic from a minitrip Sal and I took to South of the Border in South Carolina. I'll just say this - COOL (but spicy hot) FOOD. We got some souvenirs and got a little loony :-p Special thanks to Mike for snappin this shot - "Viva la Mike!" (inside joke).

Second, to wrap up some loose ends:

Shrek the Musical: 8.5/10

Not quite a "STOMP!" in Le world de Entertainment, but Sal and I loved it big time. I just gotta say though that CHILDREN BE WARNED it IS EXTREMELY SAD. Ta sum it up - the singing is the coolest and the Donkey had me damn screamin laughter the whole time. Also, let it be known that Sal and I will both be being the Shrek this Halloween.

This is us at Halloweeny (lol) two years ago. (Don't ask, I do not have ANY pictures of last years Halloweeny when i was a damn EZ Pass). As you may tell, I was an injured jock which was a big hit with the kiddies. I still don't understand what Sal was... what a stupid shit costume she had. Talk about public embarrassment okay.

Anyhoo, Sal and I and our furry kids (our pets- we do NOT have children) are doing well although I am worried about thanksgiving with Sal's sister and her family. We have a very tense relationship if you remember anything. I have crafted some witty comebacks to Beth and Franks (FUCK YOU!) snide remarks they might make at thanksgivingville. Here are a few i wrote last night for my special turkeyday reserve:

(Sal this is not for your eyes)

"this pumpkin pie belongs in the toilet!"

"i bet your kids made this turkey" (personal fave)

"are you TRYiNG to make me vomit with this barf gravy?"

Keep it real (and have a sick Halloweeny readers!),

Bill Doody

Field of Dreamies

Okay kids it's time to cut the shitty and give it a listen about vactiontown.  Field of Dreamies was off the hizzy, but someone is like the worst thrower ever and made VERY annoying  jokies to me when I had sensitive issues with pottytown.  I'll let you know that I DID NOT enjoy the Rockies as my tummy damn pained the shit out of me and Sal kept talking while I was trying to relax.  I did buy a hella sick cap tho (Go Rockies! score a homer!) - you can see see me wearin it in the pic below.

So here's us in Field of Dreams just kickin it back and soakin up the rays (Sal would just NOT stop touching).

Here's me being A-rod in this sick action shot (I've been trying to master my personal technique of catching the baseyball with two hands, its pretty kewl).  The only problem is Sal is such a bad thrower and this throw went like 20 feet past me and yours truly had to fucking retrieve. >:(

Anyhoo, gotta wish a happy birthday to my friend- hang loose! don't let the fred-bugs bite lol! (inside joke)

Sal and I got tickets to go see Shrek the Musical in the Big Apple this weekend so I'll let you all know what i think.

Keep it real,

Bill Doody

Jammin with Jimmy (Biffit)

Okay dudes first off I want to say OPEN UP THE DOOR ITS JIMMY BIFFITS NEW HIT SINGLE SUMMERZCOOL! Jimmy Biffit is taking us all back to summerzcool with this sick new jam, so pack your bags, relax, and tell everyone about the song of the year "Summerzcool". (get it? like summer school but cool lol)

Sal told me the guitar-player in the video looks like me so I've just been telling people it is.  Hey look it's me playin guitar lol

I have taken the liberty of writing out the killer lyrics for you all because it's not fucking nowhere in internetville.

Summerzcool by Jimmy Biffit

You mashed up you read the paper

you accidentially watched the news

you inadvertantly find yourself 

in the vicinity of the blues

bust your ass! to get a good life

you make a habit out of overtime

when the big report-card comes

your politics are way out of line

you need to go to summerzcool

into the beach or at least in a pool

time to go to summerzcool

remember it is (sorry dudes i don't know what Jimmy says here)

time out! for bad behavior

time off you've been under the gun

high time somebody somebody told you 

time to let those puppies run!

wussup with this recession?

how we refuse to participate

the answer to your burning questions are dancing on your tailgate

(chorus)

heres the subjects:

BEER 101

SEX 102

tune it in tune it out, thats what i'm talking about

It's time to go to summerzcool

(chorus)

I'm (obviously) giving this gem a 10/10.  Jimmy really wrote a song for the people with his political and economic undertones in this one (like how he mentioned the recession and stuff), but all packed into a fun vacation anthemtown thats great for the whole family or just men.  As a self described travelman, lol, Jimmy really speaks to my heart (and his guitarlicks are sicknasty!).  I'm still missin ya Jimmy from Margaritaville, but don't worry I'll be back soon enough with the Salmeister.

I got back from the Rockies and Field of dreams last week which i will describe in my next postie.

Keep it real,

Bill Doody

Aloha Rocky Mountains!

Hey dudes, I'm back to vacationville with the Salmeister, this time in the one n' only Colorady (US&A).  I'll just let you know my chill level is at medium right now when it should be at like 11- I'm not gonna go into details because it's personal and involves pottytown. 

Anyhoo, whip out ye' old guitarorado and play me some Rockies! lols.

Sals sitting next to me right now and says aloha to all you readers.  (Sal wrote some bullshit garbage here but I gave it a one way ticket to delete-town cause she knows that my PC is off limits)

Keep it real,

Bill Doody

Lets Talk About Pets

Hey dawgs I thought I'd tell you about some pets (mine).  Above you will find a sweet pic of yours truly and my doggy Hurt chillin in the den.  Good boy Hurt! Hurt loves to take walks, play with chewie toys, and rip up the fuckin couch (BAD DOG).  Overall, Hurt is a kewl doggy (9/10) and the high-king of Doody Pet-town.  

Here is Ball the Cat in a rare appearance of friendly-time.  Ball is our oldest cat at 11 besides Yogurt (deceased).  Usually Ball hides all damn over and then meows the fuck out like really randomly.  Since Ball sounds pretty damn close to my given name (Bill), I make Sal call him Bool to avoid any bullshit-time confusement.  Sometimes bitch forgets so someone gets the silent treaty.

Now here is the fucking demon piss-shit turd we call Gushers.  The damn turtey was a gift from Sal, and as I've said before he always shits on my handy when I try and enjoy playtown.  Needless to say, what fuckin goes around comes around! (someday he's gonna get a surprise visit from my asshole!!!) -sorry kiddies for vulgarville, he just really knows how to push my butties. 

Last but now least we have our newest addition: Pool.  Pool Doody is pictured below with Sal and is a cat.  Pool is shy, but a sweet kitty and loves to nibble on our treaties lol!

I love my pets.  (not you Gushers)

I leave for traveltime next week so I'm hella psyched- get the Jimmy Biffet out it's time to say buon giorno to the rockies!

Keep it real,

Bill Doody

Bullshit Galore

So I'm back from ye olde Key West after the sweetlife at Margaritaville and all I'm gonna say is BULLSHIT.  Yesterday as you know was Easter, but it might as well have been something like labor day... lol.  Anyhoo, I bought myself some jellybeanies to munch on (eat) and a spy ear for Easty..  I wore it all day and heard lots of kewl sounds, but since Sal was over at the Dempenchests (fuck you frank and beth!!) for Easter, where I wasn't allowed, I had to go to town.  I drove over to almost-town (thats a pretty sick song name... hey Jimmy Biffit, need an idea??? lol) with my spy ear which was sick at first because of the badass road sounds but then it all turned to a mound of crap.  A retard animal was jumpin around so I honked the horn, which was extremely fucking loud in my damn spy ear.  I screamed the fuck out and almost crashed while I tried to park and recover from loudtown.  I didn't even get to go to the  village Easty egg hunting time because I had to eat fucking dinner with Sal when she got back.  Dinner was decent.

Here's a kewl pic of Easty dinner with our new cat Pool trying to get some nibbles off of Sal lol

Sorry I haven't posted in a couple weeks, I've been busy planning a new trip to (drumroll....) Colorado and the Field of Dreams in Iowa! missin Key West, but this trip is gonna be off the hook doggies!

Keep it real,

Bill Doody

Key West

Alright dudes i want to wish you a happenin spring break from no place other than Key West, Florida (U.S&A.), home of the Jimmy Buffet Margaritaville.  Sal and I packed our baggies on Monday (mon-day like heya mon jamaica LOL someone's in the island spirit.. okay it's me) and it was up up and away to the land de paradisio.  Now before I get into the bogus shitshow, let me give you a taste, per se, of le KW: Above is a kewl pic Sal shot of me down at the southernmost point of the continental U.S&A. just livin it up and soakin up the rays (when cloudtown decided to finally damn buzz off!).  Afterwards we went to Margaritaville and got a real taste of Jimmy Biffits ideas.  Besides bein an excellent muisishy, Jimmy Biffit knows where its at when it comes to the life de island!! Sal and I got some drinks and I forgave her for having idiotshit friends. Did ya know that Key West is home to Original Margaritaville? that's right, and I'm here until the 23rd baby.  77 and partly cloudy read it and weep hombre.  

Okay, so one of the reasons I'm so glad to be livin the Island life is the trip over.  Now as you know, I fuckin love to travel.  Traveltime is my passion, and I'm not just sayin that.  That said, the flight over was a heaping pile of fuckin shit.  The movie, if you can even call it that, they played was "Four Christmases", which i am giving a 0/10.  It was by far the worst filmy ever made- FUCK YOU VINCE VAUGHN!!! anyhoo, the whole time i was watching that bullshat, two damn kiddies behind me wouldn't cool it with the jibber jabber! I made an angry grunt at the two shitheads, but they didn't get the picture.. whatever.  The worst came when I needed to go to pottytown and the kiddies made funny of me for having to drop the kids off at the pool (c'mon now, it's natural).  That was the last straw and so I shook them (lightly), and fuckin stewardshit made me move to the back.  That's it for Delta- NO MORE.

= 0/10!!

But for now, I'm livin the good life with Sal with the sweet sounds of Jimmy Biffit.

Keep it real,

Bill Doody